Small Things | His Watch

It's Christmas eve.

We returned home from a family service with Husband's parents, dinner, and looking at lights.  Our hearts are light...but we are tired.  We are thankful all is ready for the morning.

Except the stockings.

I quickly located them in a bag.  I counted out seven big boot sacks.  I mention quickly that I am glad I didn't find my dad's thinking it was in a bag in another room.

Then his fell out onto the chair.  I notice it has some heft to it.  I reach in my arm recognizes the small flags that veteran organizations brought to him in hospice.  My hand seizes something metal and a wave of emotion and shock pulsate through my body.  I look at Husband and exclaim, "His watch!" and the fount of tears comes forth.  I cannot control it.  My girls watch in wonder as I hold the watch tight and Husband holds me tighter.  My oldest begins to cry, too.  Later my middle one says, "I'm gunna give you some love, okay?"  Sweet girls.

My dad was kind of obsessed with his watch.  He pretty much went batty when he didn't have it.  It was one of the first things he requested to have when he left the hospital.  However, he only wore it for a time while in hospice because it became too big for him.  However, it was always on his bedside or he would have it in his lap.

Oddly, the watch is still keeping time and the day is still correct.  The date is off but I think that came from the months with only 30 days and my dad would have to change it to the first when it read 31.

While the discovery was quite emotional...it was quite providential. Healing.  Welcome.

These Days are Marked

These days are marked for me.

They are marked with sweet joy of celebrating advent that leads to Christmas celebrations. Birthdays for two of my girls.  Decorations I love. Family Traditions. Family...

This year they are also marked with incredible Heartache. Loss. Memories.

Around this time last year we were celebrating my youngest's first year of life while facing the fact that my dad was finishing his last.

It all takes my breath away like it just happened.  The days... good and bad... play in my mind.  The pictures are blurred by tears that I cannot stop.

I miss my papa.  Every. Day.  Some days are extremely difficult.  Others are not so bad.  Most probably think that I am doing okay.  For the most part I am don't get me wrong.  On a lot of days I just want to sit and cry.  I have three little ones that distract me and need me to keep going.  My two older ones will randomly talk about him when I least expect it.  On some occasions it makes me laugh or smile and on others I fight back tears or they spill out.

Some people ask about him or how I am doing. Most do not. It's awkward for some. It's okay.  It's true...life is but a vapor and the grass remembers us no more.

It has been strange to not ponder over what gift to buy him this year as he seemed to have all that he wanted. Or he would tell me that what was on his list was far too expensive which generally meant that it was some firearm he wanted. HA!

My gift to him last year was a CD of hymns (he was listening to it when he passed.) In all the years I had with him I don't remember him being quite as grateful as he was for this one.  I can still see him mouthing the words "thank you." to me.  Maybe I'll pull it out sometime... maybe

Indeed, these days are marked.  Marked by hope that came as a little baby under the cover of night.  Hope that grew to be a man of stature and character that would pay the ultimate sacrifice of dying on a cross for my sins.  Hope that rose from the dead.  Hope that promises the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. That Hope is Jesus.  A Hope that Papa has...a Hope that I have.  In this I find great comfort...yes... and joy. Even in my tears.

Happy Holidays?

Now, don't go getting your tinsel in a tangle because I used the term "happy holidays" in my title.  Hear me out here.

I saw this image on a friends Facebook wall the other day.  It made me think.  While I may not totally "get" Kwanzaa I am sure there are many that don't get why our family does Advent, Christmas, and we actually give more than a nod towards Epiphany.  But as I thought about this image I wondered if I wished someone a Merry Christmas would they in turn wish me a merry/joyous/happy whatever they celebrate?

Little did I know that I would find out a few days later.

I was leaving the pediatrician on Wednesday with our newest one and our oldest one who likes to come help Mama with Miss S.  I was getting them secured in the van when Miss L asked where Miss S was at that moment.  I told her that Miss S was right next to me and that she was okay.  I realized a lady had moved to a bench behind me with the intentions of grabbing a quick smoke in the designated area.  Awesome.  I had basically parked in the smoking section!  This kind lady head me talking, realized I had a newborn, and quickly said she would wait to light up her cigarette until we were underway.  I appreciated her consideration greatly.  She then asked how old Baby Girl was and then wished me a "Merry Christmas."  I wished her one as well and then she replied, "Hanukkah, actually, but thank you."  She was very kind about it.  I engaged her a little about Hanukkah and I think she was surprised that I knew that it had actually started at sunset the evening before.  This whole time Miss L is shouting from in the car, "Merry Christmas!!" Precious and funny at that particular moment all at the same time.

I immediately thought back to this social network image.  Interesting, right?  Basically, I am fine with whatever you want to tell me as long as I can tell you my preference.  However, if I know you celebrate one in particular that is what I will tell you.  However, I do take issue with curbing what people would normally says for the sake of political correctness. Political Correctness, in my book, has overstayed its welcome.

So, from our house to yours...

Merry Christmas!

On a side note, my conversation was of enough time that she never had time to take her smoke break as her ride came to pick her up.  ha ha!  YES!!

And, yes, there will be a post about the arrival of Miss S. :)

Baby Girl

Yes, a brief return to the blog world.  I am not sure how long this will last or how often it will be.  But here is a return as we strive to establish our new "normal."

                                                     On December 11th, our Little Flower made her debut.  Were we ready?  By no means!  We were not expecting her to arrive for another 4 weeks.  But she was quite ready and didn't want to miss Christmas.  My water broke at 4:30 AM and when I realized what was happening I knew there was no tuning back.  They can stop contractions but they can't put that "water" back!  We made it to the hospital around 6:00 AM and by 8:00 AM we had our little girl in our arms.  Wow.  She came via "emergency" c-section as she was in a breech presentation.  The irony in it all was that the next day we had an appointment to talk about our options for tuning her.  Yeah, so much for that!  All in all, things went well and I am no longer afraid of the epidural or spinal needle.  I am pretty sure that when baby two comes along (hopefully, naturally) I will be signing up for the epidural.  The contractions I had were becoming not so fun... ha ha ha!!

I had pondered the season in which I was pregnant.  I thought about the arrival of Jesus and the trek that Mary and Joseph made.  I was pretty sure that I would not have been so keen about jumping on a donkey for a long journey.  Goodness, I was uncomfortable on a two hour car ride to Prescott the day after Thanksgiving.  I appreciated Mary's willing heart and submissiveness to the Lord.  There were deeper pondering of  my heart but I think that many of them will stay there for now.

It's hard to believe that Little Flower has already been with us a month!  She has a fun little personality (when she's awake) and we just enjoy getting to know her.  For sure there is a lot to learn and we are thankful for the grace and the learning curve.  We have never been so tired and deliriously happy all at the same time.

Little Flower arrived just  a few hours before her cousin (another girl) out in Missouri.  How fun to share the same birthday!!

Blog Back Log: Christmas Pops?

On December 6th (just a few days before our lives would change forever) Husband and I were treated to a performance at Symphony Hall in downtown Phoenix.  We decided to make it a date night because afterwards we would be heading to the "Charthouse" for dinner with Husband's company.  Plus, we knew that our weekends out would be limited in the near future.  It was a delightful night overall.

However, let me make some observations about our time at the Symphony...

Husband and I were under the impression that there would be some of the traditional  Christmas music.  You know, things that we sing in church or even music sung by old crooners like Bing Crosby.  We were surprised to hear music from "Home Alone" and more contemporary, unfamiliar type tunes that didn't really seem to capture the REAL meaning of the season.  I did appreciate some of the Hanukkahinspired music withits upbeat tempos.  There were some other fun things that were added into the performance that made it all the more fun -- antlers on the orchestra, a three-year old conducting, and noticing one of the violin players had a service dog with antlers, too.

I must tell you that there was one significant and redeeming moment in the whole performance.  When I sat down and looked at the program and noted that they would at least be performing Handel's Hallelujah Chorus.  I turned to Husband and asked if he thought that people here would know that they are supposed to stand at the playing of the chorus.  He thought probably not and I was bummed.  As the orchestra started the piece I looked at Husband and "played" like I was getting ready to stand up.  I sat back for a few more seconds and realized that people way down in the pricier seats were starting to stand.  My heart leaped to my throat!  I stood immediately and watched as more and more people stood.  I could hear people around me asking why they were standing.  I cried.  Little did they know it was in reverence to the King of Kings.  Did they not hear the words more than just "hallelujah?"  That was the best part of the whole performance for sure.

On a side note... when you are singing "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" remember that it was written poolside right here in Phoenix, poolside at the Biltmore.  Here in the Valley we are always dreaming of a white Christmas.  That's when we pack up the family and head north for the day.

Christmas Funny

When my Papa saw the hint of the camera flash while under the tree, he quipped "I'm sure I'll be seeing this on your blog."  I assured him that he would.

You see, it takes a great deal of work to get our tree set up.  First, one must take it down.  And by down I mean someone must unhook the 100 lb box that is suspended from our garage ceiling.  It requires at least three people.  Much to the chagrin of the men in my life I climbed the ladder to unhook the second chain.  All was well.  Next, you have to haul it inside.  No big deal in the grand scheme of things.  Then we have to piece it all together.  I think it has four pieces to create a nine foot beauty of a tree with a six foot base.  Yes, it's HUGE!  And we love it!!  For this photo we had to laugh because my dad was doing something with the cords and all the branches were still "closed up" and then all of a sudden... BOOM... they all came down and thus it looks like Little Flower's Grandpy was consumed by the bottom of the tree.  Hummm... maybe you had to be there.  We thought it was funny.  Thankfully, none of those branches bopped my Papa at all and he kept right on with what he was doing.

However, the funniest part of the process was that after all was said and done Husband found an ornament still on the tree!  It was no worse for the wear.  It wasn't one of our breakable ones.  However, it did make us ponder if we could put the tree away mostly decorated.  HA!  We wouldn't do that but it was a tempting thought for about 2.3 seconds.

Now we need to decorate our tree.  But for the next few days it will sit somewhat naked in the living room and delight me even though it only has one ornament and lights for now.

Welcome 2008.. even if a bit late!

Sorry, I couldn't help myself in the rhyming department. ha ha ha!!

There has been a lot to reflect on since the posting of the last blog. We had to take a bit of a hiatus in blogging just so we could fully enjoy the Advent and Christmas Season. I very much enjoy the planning and anticipation of it all. What a way to really emphasize the eager anticipation we should be filled with day to day as we celebrate the first coming of our Savior as we wait on the arrival of His second. We are still working through how we would like our celebrations and festivities to look now and in the future. But there is grace in that this was only our second Christmas and room to let things "go with the flow." Above all, we want Christ to be the focus of our celebration. Not what society has made it out to be as some commercial free-for-all that tends to focus on how much we get and how big the toy... a celebration that focuses on what God did... the sacrifice, the creativity, the humbleness... Not on a magical man with reindeer than we can hoodwink children into behaving for (if you celebrate Santa, that is fine, it's just been lately that I hear different things in the stores to get kiddos to behave rather than good ol' fashion discipline and respect.)

With all that to say we did have a delightful time with friends and family... enjoying each other, laughing, loving, eating, and more. We always look forward to the holiday season here. It is indeed an anticipatory time for on so many levels. Already, we look forward to Thanksgiving, Advent, and Christmas for 2008... and yes, we are well aware that the year just started. We closed out 2007 with a quick trip to San Diego and Sea World. We spent a quite evening at home and we did manage to watch the ball drop with much energy to spare. Although, we did sleep in quite a bit the next morning! (Side Note: New pictures are up in Flickr... if you would like an invitation to that site, please just ask through the comments section)

We, like you, have no idea what this year will hold for us. I am sure great joys and probably great sadness. But the Lord is sufficient in all things and all things He has ordained. We are excited about this year and what the Lord may do. We are anxious to see where He will lead and pray that we would always see His fingerprints on the events of our lives. We look forward to travel (although, probably not as much as last year), time with friends and family. We love worshipping with our church and we always look forward to the Sabbath with great delight.

I think 2008 is off to a great start... lots will happen in our family I am sure, local events will effect us this year in some form or fashion... as will events at the national and worldwide level. However, in it all we can trust that our God is in control.

Advent

The Advent season marks the beginning of the Church Year, and begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. Advent means "coming" or "arrival" and refers to the First Advent of Jesus, the Messiah. The Advent season is observed as a time of prepartion, not only for Christmas, but also for the Second Advent of Jesus. This is a time of thankfulness and expectation, for we are those who "live between Advents."

Our First Christmas

It's been awhile since I have last posted here. It's definitely not for lack of things to write about but more like a little lack of time these last few days. I arrived home to the arms of my loving husband and it's been a flurry of activity since then.

My dad arrived on Saturday. Sunday we headed to church - what better place to celebrate Christmas? Then we headed to my in-law's for Christmas Eve celebrations (where this photo was taken). We had some yummy lasagna, wonderful cheesy bread, and salad. We played "Dutch Blitz" and "10 up 10 down"... fun times had by all! On the way home we stopped at the crazy light display of the Rix place in Glendale. Intense would be one word for it... over 84,000 lights of all kinds. When we got home Dad and Husband made some Russian Tea Cookies (a family favorite) while I wrapped a bunch of gifts. Last minute, I know!

Christmas morning! We celebrate the birth of a Savior... what a wonderful time to reflect on how God chose to save His people... the Word made Flesh... a tiny baby who would grow in stature and the favor of men and change the world forever providing for us reconciliation to our Father through His birth, death, and resurrection. It's an astounding and Jaw-DROPPING event! Our family was together for the day. Husband's parents (with their dog, Daisy, in tow) came down and we had a fun breakfast and then we opened presents. Way fun! We played with some of the "toys" that we got and then, of course, started working on dinner. We had one of our neighbors over that was not able to go home for Christmas. It was great to share our lives with her a little more. Husband read Luke 2 before our meal and we enjoyed sweet fellowship and fun for the afternoon. We had pork loin, red potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, and cornbread. Yummy! I was thankful that our fridge didn't get as full with leftovers as it did for Thanksgiving! It was a great day... and there were again many moments in which I will cherish in my heart and ponder on them often.

This morning my dad left for home (Husband's parents left for Denver this morning, too) and Husband headed off to work. I am here working on laundry and other random things and you may be wondering, "Now that Christmas is over what are you going to do now?" Well...

WE ARE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Seriously. We leave tomorrow! I have NEVER been and now at the "ripe" (ha ha ha!) age of 27 I finally get to go and I will enjoy and remember it all! Fun, fun! We will be back Saturday some time. I love to travel with Husband and we have many adventures planned for the upcoming year!

Merry CHRISTmas all!

Props to Prescott

On Saturday, Husband and I drove up to Prescott to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season. We had intentions to have dinner at the Prescott Brewery. Unfortunately, we left a little later than we had intended so we didn't have time to wait for a table there. So, we ate at St. Michael's Cafe which is also located on the Square. Anyway, after a superfast dinner we met Mom and Dad C as well as family friends the W Family at the W's home. We quickly made hot cocoa, bundled up, and headed back to the center of town, which would be the Square, to partake in the town's courthouse lighting.

What's the big deal, you ask?

How often, these days, do you see public school children lined up on courthouse steps singing Christmas music. Not just music but Christian carols like Silent Night, O Holy Night, Away in a Manger, etc. To hear the birth story of Jesus from the book of Luke spoken from those same courthouse steps...It was a time to cherish. Then everyone was invited to sing along. At this time all the lights came on... many of the perimeter trees had been decorated, a special Christmas tree in place, the statehood tree standing proud (Prescott used to be the state capital), decoration on the courthouse itself, and a gazebo all added a warm glow and a touch of "down home" to the chilly weather and a touch of Christmas to the heart.

The birth story of Jesus proclaimed from public steps without a riot or protest... it's unfortunate that it has become a rarity but continues to happen in Prescott, AZ every year on the first Saturday of December. I have heard that the ACLU is trying to get it be stopped at some level... but somehow the city finds a way around all the "legal-ese" - for which I am thankful!

After the lighting we walked to a the Sharlot Museum and experienced some things that we might have seen (and might not have seen) in an 1886 Christmas. Luminarias lit the pathway which was quite nice to stroll through with my sweet husband, family, and friends.

Good times had by all.