Things You Don't Say In the NICU

This is not a "in general" kind of post.  Well.  Maybe it sort of is for some in  general purposes.

Let me preface.

The NICU that we were in was fabulous.  This NICU is unlike some others in that each baby has their own room (I could have slept there had I wanted) so I only interacted with the nurses and the doctors that stopped by to care for Miss S.  Loved the doctors and most of the nurses.  I really don't like that I didn't love all the nurses -- I think it has something to do with the fact that many of my friends are nurses in all sorts of healthcare capacities.  Some just rubbed me the wrong way and I was generally pretty happy when their time with us was over.  I didn't like having that feeling but that is raw and honest.

So, here are two things you don't say in the NICU...to a new mama.  Just don't do it.

Many that have walked the road of motherhood with me know that I have had a difficult time nursing.  I am committed to breastfeeding my babies as long as I can without losing my sanity.  It's a hard road to hoe for me but I made it to six months with Miss L and Miss A.  I had already been pumping in the hospital and trekking down to the NICU with my, literally, drop or two of nourishment.  I was discouraged.  If I produced next to nothing I didn't bring it down (another nurse would be encouraging and say bring even the drops!) and felt like this was useless and I was facing another major obstacle.

Not knowing the battle I was fighting, or that I had fought this battle twice before, curtly informed me that consistency was the key to making milk.  For most, it's no big deal.  I think she made it because of the lack of breast milk that I was bringing down.  However, she didn't know that I was in my room every couple of hours doing exactly what the lactation consultants told me to be doing.  Only going a little longer between times at night so I could get some sleep.  Husband knew this struck a very hurtful cord with me and he tried to help me keep it under control.  My postpartum hormones got the best of me.

I cried.

Hard.

If this had been my first baby and knew nothing of breastfeeding that would have been one thing.  However, this was number three... I get it.

On the upside, she apologized and was a little more sensitive to my emotional state.  She was our day nurse again the second day.  I was not thrilled.  However, day two was MUCH better than day one.

End Scene One.


Begin Scene Two.


A conversation with a night nurse started out well enough.  She started asking questions and the question that I got often, "Do you have other children?"

"Yes, two girls"

"Really?  What are their ages?"

I smile because I know what the reaction will probably be, "My oldest turns three this weekend and my second is almost 16 months."

"Really?  Wow, that's really close.  You must be busy!"

I tired to be on top of it enough that I see it as my cup runneth over!  Hands full of blessings!  However, this nurse said, "I have a 5 year-old and a 10-month-old at home.  I still think it's hard with the spread but I am glad that I can give each one the attention they deserve."

Awesome.  Thanks.

Basically, you just told me that I am not giving each child the attention she deserves.  Not exactly what I need to hear as I am thinking through how to balance time at home once I am discharged and time here with Miss S.

I responded in kindness with the positive sides of them being so close.  It was probably lost on her but that's okay.  I love how the Lord ordained each little life for us.  Busy?  Yes.  Trade it? No.

For Real?

As of yesterday I am 23 weeks pregnant.  I don't think that I am getting very big.  I'll have to post belly shots once I get a shower later today (impossible right now because our fun window installers from Serbia are here... that's another story.) 

Anyway...

I stopped at a "roadshow" clothing booth at Costco this morning.  The only reason that I stopped was because I recognized their brand name from a half-off company that was featuring them this morning.  They have clothes that you can wear while preggo and then can also be used when not expecting.  It's a pretty genius way to get more for your money.  However, they are a bit pricey.  Even at "half-off" as they were touting at Costco a frilly t-shirt was $28.00 and jeans were about $34.00.  While I was kind of eyeing certain pieces and "wishing" the sales lady kind of turned me off.  First, she was all up in my space continually getting closer and closer.  Not a fan when it's people that I don't know.  Then when she learned Miss L's name she compared it to the "S.ex in the Ci.ty" movie where some character had a daughter named "L" and the other was "R."  She then asked if our next would be named "R" and I said, "No.  Her name is 'A.'" 

So, here is the kicker...

When asking about my next baby she said, "Oh!  Really soon, right??"  If by soon you mean in 4 months, then yes.  If by soon you mean any day now... I think I shall knock you up side the head.

Crashing Crystal

"My messages will be very light on Scripture.  They'll be stories, primarily with lessons.  They'll be biblical concepts, but my platform on the 'Hour of Power' and the cathedral on Sunday mornings is as an outreach to the unchurched."

-Shelia Schuller Coleman, who will succeed her father, Robert Schuller at the Crystal Cacthedral, saying her sermons won't sound like those of a preacher.

 

(Modern Reformation, September/October 2009, p.4)

Interesting, because I thought that Sunday's were for worship and the reading of the Word.

Polly Want a Cracker?

Anyone who reads this blog or knows me knows that A) I am an avid people watcher B) sometimes I see really random things C) I am fairly observant and D) (how appropriate that it came to the letter D) that I still love Dunkin' Donuts even though they don't carry my favorite donut here in Arizona anymore.  Well, all of these things met in perfect harmony on Sunday while making our way to church.  As you probably know, Husband likes to treat me to DD from time to time.  We left the house early, a little tired because we had yet to have some coffee, and made our way to the newly renovated DD on 19th Ave and Northern just off the 17.  We tried one of their new bagel sandwiches (delightful) and of course had a donut and ICED coffee.  An interesting mix of people always frequent DD's no matter the locale.  As we were leaving I had to stop dead in my tracks and call Husband's attention to my latest encounter...

...there sat a man in his car with his little dog and the window rolled down.  No big deal, right?  Well, on the window ledge was a Senegal Parrot walking back and forth and observing himself in the side mirror!  Of course we paused to talk to the friendly gentleman.  He told us how he takes his dog and parrot on a walk.  The dog on a leash and the parrot perched on his shoulder.  He made sure to tell us that his wings were clipped and he would not fly away.  The parrot's name is "Gunny" and just as I was getting ready to ask if the gentleman had been in the Marine Corps he said, "He reminds me of a drill sergeant I had in the Marine Corps, bossy, bossy, bossy!"  We laughed.

Oh how I wanted to take their picture and place it here!  But I didn't know how I would get the photo from my phone to the computer.  Even if I did, I don't think the resolution would have been very good.  Such is life... you will have to use your imagination.  Darn it for not having the camera with me this ONE time!  Ugh.

I guess the man's wife was in the store picking up their Sunday treats, too.  I hope I see these folks again.

In case you were wondering, I have now adjusted my top places for people watching...

1.  University Campus
2.  Airport/Train Station/Bus Station
3.  Dunkin' Donuts
4.  People driving (but one should only do this if you are the passenger!)

Humanizing Animals

I have been thinking about this for awhile.  While I think that I was quite guilty of this when I was younger I am pretty appalled at how far this trend seems to be going in society.  Or at least there seems to be more incidents of it that I am actually taking notice.

Sure,  I will admit to dressing up my little dog in leftover doll clothes and treating her somewhat like a human.  But really, she was a dog.  Not a child and there is a huge difference.  However, when you talk to some pet owners you would begin to realize that some do not make the distinction.  Phrases like, "Oh, I know what you mean I have three dogs" are responses to crazy days with the kids at the grocery store, etc.  Or they relate some story about their pet to your kid.  Ugh.  There really is no comparison.

I cannot just let my kid outside for the day or crate her when I need to go to the grocery store.  I am responsible for her development and little soul.  I finally understand parents frustration with these comparisons.

Then there is the recent chimp attack that is a brutal reminder that animals were not created to be treated as equals to humans.  One merely needs to look at Genesis 1:25-27. 

I think what really chaps my hide more than anything is that many of the people that sport a PETA bumper sticker are the also those that have proudly placed their pro-choice sticker right under it.

Oh, yes... and Flag Etiquette

I finally remembered what the other thing that occurred to me while I was watching the events of today unfold on TV.

Flag Etiquette.

As a variety of dignitaries were being seated (I think at this particular time it was members of the Senate) a particular man came our wearing the American flag.  This is where I throw the foul flag!  The American flag is not to be donned as a piece of clothing.

You can check out more here at Flag Code

Yes, it's one of my many peeves coming from a military family.  It also helped that my Civics teacher in high school went over this in great detail.

Hands

Hello, my name is Jessica and I am an avid people watcher.

"Hello, Jessica."

It's true.  Sometimes when I go out to run errands I get excited about what kind of things I will encounter with people in society -- whether they intend to be noticed or not.  I watch people in their cars (which I do more frequently these days because my husband usually drives us places), I watch people in the store, wherever.  There are times that I think back to college and if I had to do it all over again and think maybe I would have been a sociology major... or probably not.  I could write a book on people, I think.

It's not that I am staring at people by any means.  I have this uncanny knack to notice things.  Although, one might dispute that when I cannot find my keys and they are laying in plain sight on the counter.  Sheesh.  My husband wonders if I pay attention in church sometimes because I notice what the children are doing or this or that.  When I can then tell him details from the sermon he shakes his head and replies, "I still don't know how you do that."  Such is life.

I tell you all this to set you up for my latest encounter.  Public bathrooms are not my favorite place and not usually a place one sets up to people watch.  Well, I didn't really watch this person but rather observed her actions from within my own little stall.  If given the opportunity, I will usually wait until the bathroom is clear to do my business.  A girl likes a little privacy.  Anyway, I listened as the woman next to me was leaving.  I noticed her fun little shoes and off she went.  Wait.  The door opened.  She's gone.  I missed something.  ARGH!  She didn't wash her hands!!  Now, I am pretty sure she out in the store thumbing through fabrics and spreading the germs.  Yuck.  I may not have thought it so bad had the craft store bathroom been even slightly pristine but that was not the case. 

I am not one most would consider a germaphobic-type.  I could probably handle it if someone "forgot" to wash their hands at home but would obviously prefer them not to forget said step in leaving the bathroom.  I mean, what do you do when you go camping and you forget the "wet-ones" among other things.  Sigh.

With all that to say as I continued my shopping business I was looking for the woman's cute little shoes which would not be hard to find.  It's probably a good thing that I didn't spot her.  It's probably better not to have a face with the action this time.  It helps me to think maybe she left the store without touching anything.