Creating Space

School. Packing suitcases. Unpacking boxes. Meeting vendors to fix this or install that. Get this done so that can be finished. Run here. Run there.  Oh, do you really need lunch? Right now? Hurry, hurry.

Now, hear me when I say I am SO very thankful for these things to do. I am. They are good things, productive things, helpful things. But during this time of rush I am so very thankful for the timely reminder to stop. Reflect. Pray. Give thanks.

We didn't go to an Ash Wednesday service this year and that's okay. Nothing says that we have to have or attend these services. On the flip side nothing says that we can't. I find it a lovely addition to life in the rhythm of the church calendar. A reminder that God is in the business of death and resurrection.

I digress...

In the crazy of moving our Lenten wreath made its appearance on the kitchen counter. Creating space for it took work but it was intentional. It made me think of creating space in life and my heart to be filled by Jesus. He poured out His life for His people. Be filled. It was good to have this reminder. My girls squealed when I brought it out, "Easter is coming!" I didn't prompt them. I said nothing. It was good to have this reminder.

So, we pray. We talk. We read. We reflect on the ministry of Jesus. We give thanks.

We anticipate.

These Days are Marked

These days are marked for me.

They are marked with sweet joy of celebrating advent that leads to Christmas celebrations. Birthdays for two of my girls.  Decorations I love. Family Traditions. Family...

This year they are also marked with incredible Heartache. Loss. Memories.

Around this time last year we were celebrating my youngest's first year of life while facing the fact that my dad was finishing his last.

It all takes my breath away like it just happened.  The days... good and bad... play in my mind.  The pictures are blurred by tears that I cannot stop.

I miss my papa.  Every. Day.  Some days are extremely difficult.  Others are not so bad.  Most probably think that I am doing okay.  For the most part I am don't get me wrong.  On a lot of days I just want to sit and cry.  I have three little ones that distract me and need me to keep going.  My two older ones will randomly talk about him when I least expect it.  On some occasions it makes me laugh or smile and on others I fight back tears or they spill out.

Some people ask about him or how I am doing. Most do not. It's awkward for some. It's okay.  It's true...life is but a vapor and the grass remembers us no more.

It has been strange to not ponder over what gift to buy him this year as he seemed to have all that he wanted. Or he would tell me that what was on his list was far too expensive which generally meant that it was some firearm he wanted. HA!

My gift to him last year was a CD of hymns (he was listening to it when he passed.) In all the years I had with him I don't remember him being quite as grateful as he was for this one.  I can still see him mouthing the words "thank you." to me.  Maybe I'll pull it out sometime... maybe

Indeed, these days are marked.  Marked by hope that came as a little baby under the cover of night.  Hope that grew to be a man of stature and character that would pay the ultimate sacrifice of dying on a cross for my sins.  Hope that rose from the dead.  Hope that promises the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. That Hope is Jesus.  A Hope that Papa has...a Hope that I have.  In this I find great comfort...yes... and joy. Even in my tears.

Advent | 25 Days of Books

The Advent season marks the beginning of the Church Year, and begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. Advent means "coming" or "arrival" and refers to the First Advent of Jesus, the Messiah. The Advent season is observed as a time of preparation, not only for Christmas, but also for the Second Advent of Jesus. This is a time of thankfulness and expectation, for we are those who "live between Advents."

I think that the Church calendar is beautiful.  Yes, I do know it's man made but I am not a slave to it nor is it an idol for me. However, I find that it helps me think through ways in which I center my thoughts, heart, and life to Christ... that is what makes it beautiful.

This year, as most years of recent memory, something (whether good or bad) has turned plans upside down for what I thought our Advent and Christmas seasons would look like.  Things were scaled back quite a bit with our assignment here in California being extended.  I still want this season to look very different than other times in our church life and in our home life.  It's an exciting time with so many opportunities to point our girls to Jesus.  I had planned to do the books of Advent this year even if we had been at home this year.  I'll be honest, the travel out here on the first day of Advent has set me back a bit. Here we are on Day 4 and we have yet to open a book and begin.  Okay, okay... the other part is that I just got them wrapped up last night!  It's all about honesty here, people.

I am still working on a few more books to purchase for the end and to help round out our collection.  I am sure that some of them may even change over the years.  And some years we will need to add more because, believe it or not, Advent does NOT start on December 1 like many believe.  It begins on the FOURTH SUNDAY before Christmas.  So, some years there are actually 28 days in Advent.  This year it just happened to coordinate nicely with December 1.  There is your public service announcement for today.

So, while we're being honest here I am kind of a book snob when it comes to relaying the message of Christmas to our children.  We don't do Santa.  Go ahead and get your "awwwwww's" out and the comments about how we are depriving our children of some great thing.  We tell our children about the man who Santa is based and how that man loved Jesus and had a heart to serve people around him.  They are not missing out.  They do think that Santa is fun and sometimes they say, "Let's pretend Santa is real just for a little bit while we play."  So, they do.  I find that Christmas is already tainted by this world with commercialization.  We don't want to cloud their vision with a "person" that can give them anything when the season is about God who came to give them everything.

With that, here are the books that we have in our collection or will be purchasing.  Some of these books are from my childhood, some we have purchased over the years -- both new or used -- your local used book shop is a great place to start!  Yes, I realize that there are only 22 books on the list.  We started late and I am still trying to find more books.  If you have recommendations leave them here!!

1.  Who is Coming to Our House?
2. The Christmas Story
3. What Child is This? (I couldn't find a link)
4. The Most Marvelous Gift
5. Mary's First Christmas
6. A Charlie Brown Christmas
7. The Tale of Three Trees
8. What Sarah Saw
9. Silent Night (It's the song with beautiful illustrations, I have a different cover than the one shown here)
10. Merry Christmas, Strega Nona
11.The Very Special Visitors
12.The Crippled Lamb
14. Song of the Stars
15. The Christmas Story (different than the Golden Book above, but couldn't find a link)
16. Mortimer's Christmas Manger
17. Waiting for Noel
18. The Nativity
19. The 12 Days of Christmas: The Story Behind a Favorite Christmas Song
20. Humphrey's First Christmas
21. God Gave Us Christmas
22. A Child is Born


**Some of these links may lead to Kindle additions or may show really crazy prices.  I provided links mostly so you can see what the book looks like.  Where your procure them from is entirely up to you.  :)

Happy Holidays?

Now, don't go getting your tinsel in a tangle because I used the term "happy holidays" in my title.  Hear me out here.

I saw this image on a friends Facebook wall the other day.  It made me think.  While I may not totally "get" Kwanzaa I am sure there are many that don't get why our family does Advent, Christmas, and we actually give more than a nod towards Epiphany.  But as I thought about this image I wondered if I wished someone a Merry Christmas would they in turn wish me a merry/joyous/happy whatever they celebrate?

Little did I know that I would find out a few days later.

I was leaving the pediatrician on Wednesday with our newest one and our oldest one who likes to come help Mama with Miss S.  I was getting them secured in the van when Miss L asked where Miss S was at that moment.  I told her that Miss S was right next to me and that she was okay.  I realized a lady had moved to a bench behind me with the intentions of grabbing a quick smoke in the designated area.  Awesome.  I had basically parked in the smoking section!  This kind lady head me talking, realized I had a newborn, and quickly said she would wait to light up her cigarette until we were underway.  I appreciated her consideration greatly.  She then asked how old Baby Girl was and then wished me a "Merry Christmas."  I wished her one as well and then she replied, "Hanukkah, actually, but thank you."  She was very kind about it.  I engaged her a little about Hanukkah and I think she was surprised that I knew that it had actually started at sunset the evening before.  This whole time Miss L is shouting from in the car, "Merry Christmas!!" Precious and funny at that particular moment all at the same time.

I immediately thought back to this social network image.  Interesting, right?  Basically, I am fine with whatever you want to tell me as long as I can tell you my preference.  However, if I know you celebrate one in particular that is what I will tell you.  However, I do take issue with curbing what people would normally says for the sake of political correctness. Political Correctness, in my book, has overstayed its welcome.

So, from our house to yours...

Merry Christmas!

On a side note, my conversation was of enough time that she never had time to take her smoke break as her ride came to pick her up.  ha ha!  YES!!

And, yes, there will be a post about the arrival of Miss S. :)

Life after Christmas

It was our first Christmas with a toddler.  I will admit there were things that we wanted to do that didn't happen but there was grace.  Many of our decorations are in random parts of the garage which has now been remedied.  Tiny fingers made us a bit cautious in where to put things.  Miss L is fascinated by the Baby Jesus in our manger scene that can either be in the manger or in Mary's arms.  We find her in wide-eyed wonder at the scene more often than not.  My hope is that she would still have a wide-eyed wonder about it when she is 30 - the Creator of the Universe coming to dwell with us...coming as a baby.  How creative.

There had been a flutter of people talking about all the mishaps of post-Christmas chaos.  Kids snapping, toy over load, parents snapping, long days, this that or the other.  I started thinking about this a bit.  The whole holiday season is a bit like a birth.  Both good and bad that comes from the experience.  However, as my husband reminds me in many situations, it's how we opt to respond to these things in the midst of it all that will determine the ultimate outcome.  If we respond with a poor attitude rather than gratitude then a negative outcome is inevitable.

Like in the days and weeks that lead up to a birth there is a blissful glow to everything an expectant mother does.  She is happy in anticipating the arrival of the little life that she has been nurturing for the past nine months.  Sure there are days that she waddles more than other or her back hurts -- but the anticipation overrides it all.  Just when she thinks she cannot wait any longer the baby arrives.  There is pushing, huffing, maybe loud groan here and there.  Then.  Relief.   All is quickly forgotten as she holds her little baby in her arms.  Then there is the afterbirth.  If you have had a baby you know what I mean... it's messy.

All this is what I have been thinking about in terms of the Christmas holiday season -- which by the way does not end officially until January 6, folks.  (The 12 Days of Christmas refer to the days AFTER Christmas, not before.  FYI.)

There is great anticipation for the day however you may celebrate.  There are probably some aches and pains getting there.  Then there's the moment of great joy and exhilaration of the culmination of things awaited.  Then.  The afterbirth.  Things are messy.  Maybe your kids are snapping at each other and are on toy and sugar over load.

I'm not saying it has to be this way but how we respond is what we should be highly aware of in ourselves.  If our children are snappy are we snapping back at them?  Or are we redirecting their hearts back to the manger scene?

I write this more for myself than I do for anyone else.  Ultimately the manger points to the cross and the cross to an empty tomb that leads to life.

I want to breathe that on my children during this time of year...

...all year.