Cherished Conversation | Women & Work

During our stay in California we have had the opportunity to interact with a large variety of people.  My girls make different observations which are never prompted by us.  Although, most observations require some explaining and redirection.  Here is one of those social observations:

The honest truth is if you look at the people that are staying here the majority are men.  There have been a few females, fewer couples are here during the week.  And if there are more we don't see them in the public areas much for the meals that are provided by our hotel.  Granted, this changes on the weekend when we see more families.  But for extended stay there a couple of families, a few couples, a few (travelling single) women, and a bunch of (travelling single) men... of all different nationalities.

One morning Miss L asks, "Why do some women go to work?"

"Because some women need to do that to help their families, or they don't have children to stay home with.  That's the decision some women want or need to make," I replied.

"So, what happens to their children when they go to work?"

I do my best to explain a day care center and the option of a babysitter (which she understands a bit more fully) and that some children are old enough to go to a public school.

Her eyes teared up.  She told me that she was sad that some children didn't get to spend the whole day with their mom or dad.

"I always want you to be my teacher, Mama."

My eyes fought back tears and I was overwhelmed by her love.

I grew up in a single parent home.  My dad did the best he could but that had to include a mix of private day care, "regular" day care, and baby sitters.  I didn't know anything different.  I thought it was a natural part of everyone's childhood.  It wasn't until we moved from Albuquerque to Los Lunas that I met other kids who had a mom that stayed home.  It was AWESOME.  I was jealous for a time but understood that was not at all how it could work in our house.  I understand that for some it just isn't an option.  However, now that my husband has blessed me and our children with the opportunity for me to stay home I do thin kit is the best option.  Many people have made great sacrifices to be at home with their children... while it may indeed be a great sacrifice in some areas it has the best return on the investment by far.   

Today he would have been 73...

I probably won't write something every birthday that rolls around.  But it's the first one.  It seems significant.  At this point last year we had no idea that Papa was sick.  He was in a little pain but we chalked it up to his recent back surgery that was taking longer to recover from than we thought it would.  Over this weekend last year we took the girls to a pumpkin patch north of our home a bit. My dad told   Its to go and have fun and that we would celebrate when we all got home.  I think he secretly wanted the house to himself for a couple of days because he knew that we would be spending the night up north, too.

This year I am missing him.  He used to want to ignore his birthday but I didn't.  I love birthdays.  I don't go all out but I like doing at least something.  This year we mark the day in our hearts, tears are shed, and we take another step forward.

Miss A and I went out to his grave last week to put some flowers. Fall, I think, was his favorite season.  Mostly because it then signified in his mind hunting season.  Because really, let's face it, that was his favorite season. HA!  Miss A helped me clear off his marker and while I cried she was quiet and as we left she just held my hand.  Then in her innocence she asked if she could pick some flowers.  I asked her where she wanted to pick flowers.  She pointed at all the other markers with flowers. It helped to lighten the mood.  Miss A and my dad had a special bond.  Little things that she still remembers that he would do for her at the breakfast table.  When my dad was in hospice she would climb up on his bed and cuddle with him.

Cherished Conversations

I never know what will set off a certain line of questioning from my children.  Especially with Miss L.  She is so inquisitive and soaking things up like a sponge.  I am alway so surprised by what she remembers and in what detail.  Here is a conversation we had today right after finishing our school work for the day.

"Mama, can you show me a picture of YOUR grandma and grandpa?"

"Sure, when we get back to Phoenix I will show you a picture of my grandma and grandpa."

"Are they old or young?"

"Well, they were kind of old when they died.  They are gone now like Grandpa Tash is gone."

"Oh.  When did they die?"

"My grandpa died a long time before you were born.  Even before your daddy and I got married.  But my grandma, you got to meet her when you were really little.  And then when she died you went with me to her funeral.  Although, you wouldn't remember that."

"Oh, I remember."

"You do?!"

"Yep, I remember in my heart."

So, there I was choking back tears and off she went to the next thing.  Ugh.  These kids are hard on the heart sometimes... in the best possible way.

Unbroken | A Book

**Disclaimer: Spoiler of sorts below**



I recently read the book Unbroken under the recommendation from my dear friend, Mrs. H.  I found it from our digital library and dove in.  It was a page turner for sure.  I was drawn in by the story.  My mind finding it hard to grasp all that the main character, Louis Zamperini, endured during WWII.  However, I was all to familiar with other stories of such atrocities that I knew such things were not from an overactive or over traumatized imagination. What drew me in even more was the fact that Mr. Zamperini was an Olympic athlete.  I love that connection -- when I was younger (i.e. before children could find me in any hiding spot) I would disappear (or so it seemed) for the two weeks that the Olympic games were on.  Winter or summer I loved them all...

I don't do book reviews.  I am not so eloquent as to sum up a book in such a way as to compel people to read it.  However, I like to write when a deeper connection to the story is made.  This book has stuck with me that I have found it hard to really engage in my next book.  I just keep thinking about it.  So, now that I have some answers and I can write it down maybe I can move on with my next book.  HA!

Toward the end of the book Mr. Zamperini is haunted by a particular experience from his time at war.  He had prayed that if God would save him then he would serve God forever.  He was faced with this flashback while attending a Billy Graham revival in California.  He would eventually receive Christ and his life would see dramatic change.  His story is really quite intense in the testimony of God's faithfulness, love, and redemption.  There is a mention of Hollywood Presbyterian church.  My mind flashed and ran the dates in my head... Dr. & Mrs. Bill Bright (the founders of my former employment, Campus Crusade for Christ, now Cru) attended Hollywood Presbyterian.  I wondered if the paths of Mr & Mrs Bright had crossed that of the Zamperini's?

So, I emailed Mrs. Bright on Monday morning.  I received a reply from Mrs. Bright this morning, here is part of her response,

"Bill and I first met Louis Zamperini at a Billy Graham meeting when he went forward to accept Christ.  We knew them and considered them friends when we attended Hollywood Presbyterian Church in California.  It has been years since we have had any contact with him.  I, too, read his book, Unbroken and found it to be a very powerful story."

AH!!  I love it!  I love an even more personal connection to this story.  Love it.  It has endeared itself to me even more.

While there is a movie slated to come out of this story Christmas 2014 I am not sure that I will be able to stomach going to see.  However, I may just need to see it anyway.

I would HIGHLY recommend this book.

Hotel Memories

Obviously things happen for a reason and in just the right season.  My husband has been assigned to work in California for some undetermined amount of time and we are fortunate enough to be here together as a family.  As my husband had been working out here prior to all of us joining him he found a hotel just across the street from his work site.  He told me later that he was pretty sure it was the place we had stayed with my dad when we all went to California in 2009.  Our minds stretched for that trip... we have had two more babies since then... enough said.  The mind and its memories blur.

However, as soon as we pulled off the highway onto our street the memories came flooding back.  There stood the Olive Garden that we had managed a meal with a nine-month-old Miss L.  She made a mess and I am sure she had a fit.  Maybe she had done okay.  I just remember the mess.  The hotel itself was hard to remember... that is until I stepped out back to see Matt and the two older girls swimming.  I had to steady myself and keep composure.  Memories flooded back.  We had taken Miss L swimming a couple of times in the pool here after botched attempts at the beach with a baby.  My dad never got in but he watched, took pictures, and wrapped Baby L up in a towel and kept her warm.  I could see the picture in my minds eye... and I found it... the picture above.

We came out here Labor Day weekend of 2009.  My dad had just moved from New Mexico to Arizona and was living with us for a time until he found his own place.  We persuaded him out come to California with us.  An adventure because California was never on his list of top places to vacation.  We had fun... and we learned a lot about travelling on Labor Day Weekend or just travelling with a little one in general.

It's hard to think that then we only had three more years left with him.  But they were good years.  I am thankful that the Lord brought us here at this time to let me remember these things.  And today I swam in that same pool with Miss L who can now basically swim on her own... and her two sisters.  I could almost see my dad standing in the same spot laughing and shaking his head at the antics of my girls.

Thank you, Jesus, for this time right now.

Honeysuckle, Creosote, and Trainsmoke | A Book

So, I finished my first book since my last post.  Actually, I finished it a few days ago and have started something else.  I find my desire to be on social media, playing games, etc dwindling a bit.  Mostly in the game department... I do like Facebook but I am not there nearly as much.  Good things.

I digress...

I read this book in memory of my dad.  The author was a classmate of his and I have met Mr. Cook on several occasions.  I still remember that Mr. Cook had a book signing in Albuquerque while my dad was out hunting.  My Aunt Dee took me to the store to have a book signed for my dad as a birthday present.  That was in 1990 and I am now the owner of that book.  Just opening the book to that inscription brought back sweet memories.  While there were parts that I didn't laugh at I remembered my dad laughing with tears running down his face, especially in the telling of the funeral story (it is pretty humorous).  However, there were other stories I was totally laughing and rereading to my husband.

The best way to describe this book would be as the roughed up, sometimes crass, but has a soft side uncle of "The Help."  This was a more vivid look into life in a north Louisiana town in the 1940's.  While some things were tragic and heart breaking, I know from stories of my dad's youth they are not far from the truth.

I have heard that Mr. Cook has a second book out and possibly a third in the works.  I will have to work my north Louisiana connections to find out as I cannot seem to find a second one listed online.

Reading this book made me think of stories of my dad's family and how I want to make sure that they are passed down to my girls.  I'll share them here when I have more time.  For now, I'll put a reminder to write about them soon.

On to more books...

Bookworm Lost

As we start out on this homeschooling adventure with our children I get a little overwhelmed looking ahead to what could potentially be their high school reading assignments.  I start thinking that maybe I should start now so that I may have most of them completed by the time they are ready for high school.  Then I relax (a little) and realize that I should enjoy books with them now that THEY enjoy.

I had to reflect a little on my reading history...

When I was younger (5th-8th grades) I read all. the. time.  My dad could barely keep up.  For whatever reason he didn't ever take me to the library.  Apparently it was just easier to take me to the local book store at the time and let me pick out a book or two.  This was a weekly or a twice a week visit and I would still find days with nothing new to read.

As I entered high school and assigned more reading and finding new hobbies and activities my desire to read dwindled.  It was also during this time that I realized that reading in a vehicle caused motion sickness.  It was something that I had never experienced before but it cut down the time that I normally had to read.  However, I had some phenomenal teachers in high school and felt that I was fairly well read... more on that later.

The story continues into college.  Reading was assigned and nothing for fun.   At this point in my life reading outside of things assigned did not seem appealing.  Anything but reading.  Sad.

I think later I got caught up in reading a lot of heavy spiritual things for classes that I took while I was on staff with CRU.  It's not that they were bad but reading something light and fun rarely crossed my path.  When I married I was introduced to people that were extremely well read.  I could barely hang with them.  I realized that I had also missed out on some pretty awesome classics - Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, etc.  I wondered why?  Then it hit me that my very liberal, feminist (although I love her dearly) high school teacher would not have approved of some of the story lines that these authors presented.  Again, sad.

More and more I am convicted that while I want to produce readers and see the desire at different levels in my girls... I am no longer a reader.  I must recover what was lost.  I've cut down on the time I waste playing games or dinking around.  I am looking into the lists I have made and would like to tackle them.  I am also wanting to find more interesting books for my girls.  I desire to make the library a habit and familiar place for them.

So, readers... suggest books... classics or otherwise.  I'll let you know if I've read them or not.  However, I cannot do things that are overly violent or overly sexual in content... I'll stop and drop anything that are too much in that area for me.  Just an FYI... and thanks for joining me!