Thursday, October 24, 2013

Cherished Conversation | Women & Work

During our stay in California we have had the opportunity to interact with a large variety of people.  My girls make different observations which are never prompted by us.  Although, most observations require some explaining and redirection.  Here is one of those social observations:

The honest truth is if you look at the people that are staying here the majority are men.  There have been a few females, fewer couples are here during the week.  And if there are more we don't see them in the public areas much for the meals that are provided by our hotel.  Granted, this changes on the weekend when we see more families.  But for extended stay there a couple of families, a few couples, a few (travelling single) women, and a bunch of (travelling single) men... of all different nationalities.

One morning Miss L asks, "Why do some women go to work?"

"Because some women need to do that to help their families, or they don't have children to stay home with.  That's the decision some women want or need to make," I replied.

"So, what happens to their children when they go to work?"

I do my best to explain a day care center and the option of a babysitter (which she understands a bit more fully) and that some children are old enough to go to a public school.

Her eyes teared up.  She told me that she was sad that some children didn't get to spend the whole day with their mom or dad.

"I always want you to be my teacher, Mama."

My eyes fought back tears and I was overwhelmed by her love.

I grew up in a single parent home.  My dad did the best he could but that had to include a mix of private day care, "regular" day care, and baby sitters.  I didn't know anything different.  I thought it was a natural part of everyone's childhood.  It wasn't until we moved from Albuquerque to Los Lunas that I met other kids who had a mom that stayed home.  It was AWESOME.  I was jealous for a time but understood that was not at all how it could work in our house.  I understand that for some it just isn't an option.  However, now that my husband has blessed me and our children with the opportunity for me to stay home I do thin kit is the best option.  Many people have made great sacrifices to be at home with their children... while it may indeed be a great sacrifice in some areas it has the best return on the investment by far.   

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Today he would have been 73...

I probably won't write something every birthday that rolls around.  But it's the first one.  It seems significant.  At this point last year we had no idea that Papa was sick.  He was in a little pain but we chalked it up to his recent back surgery that was taking longer to recover from than we thought it would.  Over this weekend last year we took the girls to a pumpkin patch north of our home a bit. My dad told   Its to go and have fun and that we would celebrate when we all got home.  I think he secretly wanted the house to himself for a couple of days because he knew that we would be spending the night up north, too.

This year I am missing him.  He used to want to ignore his birthday but I didn't.  I love birthdays.  I don't go all out but I like doing at least something.  This year we mark the day in our hearts, tears are shed, and we take another step forward.

Miss A and I went out to his grave last week to put some flowers. Fall, I think, was his favorite season.  Mostly because it then signified in his mind hunting season.  Because really, let's face it, that was his favorite season. HA!  Miss A helped me clear off his marker and while I cried she was quiet and as we left she just held my hand.  Then in her innocence she asked if she could pick some flowers.  I asked her where she wanted to pick flowers.  She pointed at all the other markers with flowers. It helped to lighten the mood.  Miss A and my dad had a special bond.  Little things that she still remembers that he would do for her at the breakfast table.  When my dad was in hospice she would climb up on his bed and cuddle with him.