Sunday, June 6, 2010
When Your Baby Cries
Needless to say, it took a toll on us all on some level.
When Miss L has had enough she doesn't have the concept of self-control to just stick it out with a happy heart. No, she will sometimes melt down, cry, and throw up her arms in frustration. What she needs is some down time, cuddles with Mommy and Daddy, and ultimately a return to routine.
Well, I hate to admit it but I had a similar melt down during our trip. I chose not to stick it out and have a happy heart. Unfortunately, I did not exhibit a spirit of self-control and responded to a series of situations like my 18-month-old. Sigh.
It's not until I was able to reflect back on the trip that I really saw what maybe the Lord was trying to teach me.
First, and foremost was my lack of self-control. As if that isn't enough. My feelings cannot control me but so often I let them. I just needed to push through, accept help, and also communicate how I am feeling in a rational, non-emotion fueled manner. Sometimes this is much easier said than done when one is six months pregnant and hormones are all over the place!
Second, the Lord was gently reminding me that I am not the same person that I was in college or the few years after graduating. (Thank you, Jesus!) I could go, go, go, go, go... and then go some more. I didn't spend a lot of time at home and the majority of the time I lived out of a suitcase. No problem.
Well, life changes and so do we...
I am a creature of habit. I love being at home. I am growing more into the role that God has given to me. I am a wife and a mom with different demands of my time than 5 or 6 years ago. I cringe when people say, "I am just a wife and mom." I think there is great value in being just a wife and mom (there are many things that fall under these very broad titles). It's an identity that God created for me as a woman. It is good godly work that God will see me through until the end. It is a good work that He has started in me.
Like my daughter, I needed some extra time with my Heavenly Father (and cuddles with Husband), some down time, and a return to my routine.
My life is not boring by any means because it has routine. It's good for me and for my household. There is room for spontaneous things and we have fun. Our household may not be the same as yours but that's okay. We all reflect differect aspects of God's character and image.
There is more that I am thinking through and this isn't all that profound in the grand scheme of things but it's where I am at in life right now. Husband is right, I need to give myself more grace in the things that I am growing in and learning about. I will probably have more on other things that stem from this at a later time.